Year End Reflections 2016A

Time to reflect upon my 2016. Experience, lessons learned...

Bad experience & challenges prompt us to desiring solution & better ideals.
(Growth / Improvement can be resulted)

Crisis / incident

1)  Short version:
after 10 months of helping a stranger (an eldery lady Mrs H) since last Autumn, eventually I found out that I was being manipulated. She is a very experienced manipulative person with strong character. I tasted the many tactics she used. (Parts of the experience was so horrible that I had to shut my ears, close my eyes and keep praying on the spot. )

I found her a carehome. Eventually, problem solved, justice done.

Reflections

Worst as it were, it also give me lessons -
 learning about & reflecting about my other relationships.

a) How to spot & handle such behaviour/people? 
    Have I been manipulated? 
    Is someone in my circle manipulative?
   (see resources below)

b) Who else I know suffered from others' manipulation, too ?
    (good to share this - so they can be informed & help themselves)

c) Have I manipulated?
    (if so, find other healthier solutions)

++  Causes of the situation:

21 years of institutional education & family upbringing
didn't equip me how to spot & handle such people/behaviours.

++ Suggestion for Solution:

Try
::  praying  +
    pray with strong feeling/emotions for protection & solution.
::  self-learning the how-tos +
    Thankful for people sharing their know-how on www & other media.
::  find ways to re-balance our emotions/moods/thoughs

:: remember that to have   FAITH, HOPE, LOVE.
There are solutions.

++ Resources : (some; good read)

"Manipulative people: how to spot them, how to manage them"
(Dan Munro; Biznews dot com; 2014.01.11)
http://www.biznews.com/thought-leaders/2014/01/11/manipulative-people-spot-manage/
(from Beginners's Guide managing manipulation; under30ceo dot com)
http://under30ceo.com/beginners-guide-managing-manipulation/#vurlLR1tZzy7RFBZ.99

"How to Recognize and Handle Manipulative Relationships"
(Preston Ni  MSBA; Psychology Today; 2014.07.13)
https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/communication-success/201407/how-recognize-and-handle-manipulative-relationships

"How to Deal with Manipulative People" Part one & Part Two
(Ryan Murdock; EarlyToRise dot com)
http://www.earlytorise.com/how-to-deal-with-manipulative-people%E2%80%93part-two/

"30 Signs of Emotional Abuse In A Relationship "
(Barnie Davenport; LiveBold&Bloom dot com)
http://liveboldandbloom.com/11/relationships/signs-of-emotional-abuse

"The 15 Types of Toxic Relationships"
(Natalia Avdeeva; LovePanky dot com)
http://www.lovepanky.com/love-couch/broken-heart/types-of-toxic-relationships

"10 Unmistakable Signs You’re Being Emotionally Manipulated By Your Partner"
(Fabida Abdulla; New Love Times dot com; 2.15.09.10)

"10 Things You Should Never Overlook in a relationship"
(Siddartha Bose; New Love Times dot com; 2016.05.19)

http://www.newlovetimes.com/relationship-advice-10-things-you-should-never-overlook-in-a-relationship/
   
"The 12 Golden rules" of a Happy Long-lasting relationship"
[12 simple tips for relationship bliss]
(Alex Alexander; Your Tango dot com)
http://www.yourtango.com/200935545/12-simple-tips-relationship-bliss

Wake up calls & Grand Plan

I read something which rang a bell in me.
Really. Try not to be stubborn like I used to be.

Os Hillman ...
It appeared "everything was against me." I could not see that God was orchestrating a whole new calling on my life. At the moment, it seemed like the worst thing in the world. It seemed that I had been a failure. But God said, "No."  All the years before had been preparation for what God's ultimate calling would be.

One of God's methods for directing His children's steps is through drying up resources: a job loss, a career change, or a disaster. In these times we are willing to listen more intently, and to seek God in ways we would not normally do.

C.S. Lewis once wrote,
"God whispers to us in our pleasures,
speaks in our conscience,
but shouts in our pains;
it is His megaphone to rouse a deaf world." [C.S.Lewis, The Problem of Pain (New York: Macmillan Publishing Company, 1962), 93.] "