2016-12-29

Year End Reflections 2016A

Time to reflect upon my 2016. Experience, lessons learned...

Bad experience & challenges prompt us to desiring solution & better ideals.
(Growth / Improvement can be resulted)

Crisis / incident

1)  Short version:
after 10 months of helping a stranger (an eldery lady Mrs H) since last Autumn, eventually I found out that I was being manipulated. She is a very experienced manipulative person with strong character. I tasted the many tactics she used. (Parts of the experience was so horrible that I had to shut my ears, close my eyes and keep praying on the spot. )

I found her a carehome. Eventually, problem solved, justice done.

Reflections

Worst as it were, it also give me lessons -
 learning about & reflecting about my other relationships.

a) How to spot & handle such behaviour/people? 
    Have I been manipulated? 
    Is someone in my circle manipulative?
   (see resources below)

b) Who else I know suffered from others' manipulation, too ?
    (good to share this - so they can be informed & help themselves)

c) Have I manipulated?
    (if so, find other healthier solutions)

++  Causes of the situation:

21 years of institutional education & family upbringing
didn't equip me how to spot & handle such people/behaviours.

++ Suggestion for Solution:

Try
::  praying  +
    pray with strong feeling/emotions for protection & solution.
::  self-learning the how-tos +
    Thankful for people sharing their know-how on www & other media.
::  find ways to re-balance our emotions/moods/thoughs

:: remember that to have   FAITH, HOPE, LOVE.
There are solutions.

++ Resources : (some; good read)

"Manipulative people: how to spot them, how to manage them"
(Dan Munro; Biznews dot com; 2014.01.11)
http://www.biznews.com/thought-leaders/2014/01/11/manipulative-people-spot-manage/
(from Beginners's Guide managing manipulation; under30ceo dot com)
http://under30ceo.com/beginners-guide-managing-manipulation/#vurlLR1tZzy7RFBZ.99

"How to Recognize and Handle Manipulative Relationships"
(Preston Ni  MSBA; Psychology Today; 2014.07.13)
https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/communication-success/201407/how-recognize-and-handle-manipulative-relationships

"How to Deal with Manipulative People" Part one & Part Two
(Ryan Murdock; EarlyToRise dot com)
http://www.earlytorise.com/how-to-deal-with-manipulative-people%E2%80%93part-two/

"30 Signs of Emotional Abuse In A Relationship "
(Barnie Davenport; LiveBold&Bloom dot com)
http://liveboldandbloom.com/11/relationships/signs-of-emotional-abuse

"The 15 Types of Toxic Relationships"
(Natalia Avdeeva; LovePanky dot com)
http://www.lovepanky.com/love-couch/broken-heart/types-of-toxic-relationships

"10 Unmistakable Signs You’re Being Emotionally Manipulated By Your Partner"
(Fabida Abdulla; New Love Times dot com; 2.15.09.10)

"10 Things You Should Never Overlook in a relationship"
(Siddartha Bose; New Love Times dot com; 2016.05.19)

http://www.newlovetimes.com/relationship-advice-10-things-you-should-never-overlook-in-a-relationship/
   
"The 12 Golden rules" of a Happy Long-lasting relationship"
[12 simple tips for relationship bliss]
(Alex Alexander; Your Tango dot com)
http://www.yourtango.com/200935545/12-simple-tips-relationship-bliss

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